REMEMBERING MY GRANNY!!!! I MISS HER!
Hey everybody, how's it going. I'm dedicating a whole blog post to the memory of my late grandmother. It was 5 years ago today that I lost one of the most imperative women I've ever met in my entire life. This woman served one of the most influential roles of anybody that I've ever come into contact with.
When I was little, I had pretty much no father. My dad was known to my family in a very negative light that HE CAUSED. So I had no male or "Man" role models at an early age. All I've ever had was my Mommy and my 3 big sisters, they are responsible for the outstanding man that I am today, I owe it to them. But being the fact that my youngest sister is 9 years older than me, and my mom always slaved herself to death to get the bills paid, I had no immediate interaction with people. My best friend was my DOG!!! All throughout my childhood years. Now Growing up, me and my grandmother didn't "Hit it off!" I didn't like her because she always looked down on me, I think it's because she thought because I had no male influence, that I'd be just like my dad. I can understand how she may have felt that way, it happens a lot with people in the same situation. Me being a kid, of course I picked up on that, so I had this deep resentment against her. We BUMPED HEADS CONSTANTLY!!! ABOUT EVERYTHING! We was ALWAYS into it. I dreaded going around her sometimes, it got just that heated at one point.
Fast Forward to my preteen years I started developing my own personality, my own character. Because I was raised around middle age-older people, I had an old spirit, in a KID'S body!! Some people called me The Future Preacher, hey! You never know!! I'm still young! But there became a point, I don't remember exactly when, but there became a point when our relationship took a drastic change for the better. I don't know whether one day she just saw the shear potential in me, or whether she just knew one day with the proper influence that I was going to be somebody. Man she flipped like a switch on me. We started with church!!! We lived right next to her, so on Sunday mornings she'd walk over and peck on my window to wake me up to get ready for church. I'd unlock the door, let her in, and she'd sit in the living room until I was fully dressed and ready to head out. Then we'd walk up the hill to church. We went to church together that first Sunday, and I guess she saw something within me, it's like she just knew I needed the Lord. So she made it her duty, to have my butt in church EVERY Sunday. Now we'd go, I'd sit next to her. After church we'd go to the back kitchen, make us a to-go plate of food, and I'd have to carry BOTH plates, 4 Canned Sodas, and her "Pocket Book" !!! Plus my bible back down to the house, because see we lived like 2 minutes down the street, so rain, hail, sleet, snow, we was always at that church at 11am every Sunday Morning!!! During this time I formed probably the closest bond I've ever formed with anybody at that time. She was like my bestfriend. We talked together, we laughed together, we played pool and solitary on my phone. We watch our favorite TV show (Life After People) together!!! She had in a crazy way become my bestfriend! She was the woman that introduced me to Jesus Christ, she did his work and delivered a kid that NEEDED him. I'm ever so GRATEFUL because she took on a responsiblity that NOBODY in my family thought to do with me!! Everybody kinda looked over me because I was a kid, but she saw untapped potential that nobody else really picked up on at the time.
In My grandmother's later years that role of her waking me up started to flip because she became secretly sicker and sicker. Her health changes were suddly noticed because she lived alone, but I can count plenty of months even couple of years prior to her death that she didn't feel up to parr with walking down to the church, so I'd find myself in there lonely and alone, looking for her to walk in.......... And now today she never will again.
The Death, my grandmother died 4 times... She was flown to Little Rock from West Helena where she was revived mid-flight to ny understanding. She lived for about two weeks after being flown to Little Rock. She was placed on life support, I think about half way through that time period she was taken off of life support and she GOT BETTER!!!!! At her request, she wanted to see all of her family. So one night, the family went to see her, and gave her kisses and hugs, she saw all of the kids. Her daughters, her son, her legacy... That night, after everybody left, my grandmother passed away in her sleep. She left me.... You all my bestfriend left me. Now, I don't step foot in churches... I can't. ESPECIALLY not the Church I grew up in. It's soo hard for me to mentally deal with it, I can't do it. I prayed and told God that if I had punishment for that, then I can take it. But I feel like I can't use that as an excuse, so with prayer and medication, maybe I'll get back into the whole church thing.
Why I didn't go.... I did not go see my grandmother when she was sick. I regret this terrible mistake everyday of my life because I will never see her beautiful face again. I'll never touch her joyful living skin. I'll never hear her voice. If I could have just ONE LAST CHANCE to hug her, I'd give ANYTHING for it. In a strange way, I feel like I let her down. It hurts, I know deep down she missed me, I know she wanted to see me. I know she was waiting for me, and I never came......(Here comes the Tears). But I just hope and pray she understand and I hope she forgives me. But ny Granny was the glue to my family, we were closer, happier, loved each other more back then. The times I shared with my granny during Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and 4th of July, and Easter I will NEVER FORGET. EVEN the Arguments, the moments I spent in her presence will last in my mind and memory forever. And As I type, I know she's watching, and I want her to know that I miss her soooooooooo so very much, and I love her with every ounce of me. If a express bus opens up to heaven she needs to buy me a ticket!!!! This is my tribute to Mary Alice Fonzye 1940-2011! I will always Love You... *Tears
When I was little, I had pretty much no father. My dad was known to my family in a very negative light that HE CAUSED. So I had no male or "Man" role models at an early age. All I've ever had was my Mommy and my 3 big sisters, they are responsible for the outstanding man that I am today, I owe it to them. But being the fact that my youngest sister is 9 years older than me, and my mom always slaved herself to death to get the bills paid, I had no immediate interaction with people. My best friend was my DOG!!! All throughout my childhood years. Now Growing up, me and my grandmother didn't "Hit it off!" I didn't like her because she always looked down on me, I think it's because she thought because I had no male influence, that I'd be just like my dad. I can understand how she may have felt that way, it happens a lot with people in the same situation. Me being a kid, of course I picked up on that, so I had this deep resentment against her. We BUMPED HEADS CONSTANTLY!!! ABOUT EVERYTHING! We was ALWAYS into it. I dreaded going around her sometimes, it got just that heated at one point.
Fast Forward to my preteen years I started developing my own personality, my own character. Because I was raised around middle age-older people, I had an old spirit, in a KID'S body!! Some people called me The Future Preacher, hey! You never know!! I'm still young! But there became a point, I don't remember exactly when, but there became a point when our relationship took a drastic change for the better. I don't know whether one day she just saw the shear potential in me, or whether she just knew one day with the proper influence that I was going to be somebody. Man she flipped like a switch on me. We started with church!!! We lived right next to her, so on Sunday mornings she'd walk over and peck on my window to wake me up to get ready for church. I'd unlock the door, let her in, and she'd sit in the living room until I was fully dressed and ready to head out. Then we'd walk up the hill to church. We went to church together that first Sunday, and I guess she saw something within me, it's like she just knew I needed the Lord. So she made it her duty, to have my butt in church EVERY Sunday. Now we'd go, I'd sit next to her. After church we'd go to the back kitchen, make us a to-go plate of food, and I'd have to carry BOTH plates, 4 Canned Sodas, and her "Pocket Book" !!! Plus my bible back down to the house, because see we lived like 2 minutes down the street, so rain, hail, sleet, snow, we was always at that church at 11am every Sunday Morning!!! During this time I formed probably the closest bond I've ever formed with anybody at that time. She was like my bestfriend. We talked together, we laughed together, we played pool and solitary on my phone. We watch our favorite TV show (Life After People) together!!! She had in a crazy way become my bestfriend! She was the woman that introduced me to Jesus Christ, she did his work and delivered a kid that NEEDED him. I'm ever so GRATEFUL because she took on a responsiblity that NOBODY in my family thought to do with me!! Everybody kinda looked over me because I was a kid, but she saw untapped potential that nobody else really picked up on at the time.
In My grandmother's later years that role of her waking me up started to flip because she became secretly sicker and sicker. Her health changes were suddly noticed because she lived alone, but I can count plenty of months even couple of years prior to her death that she didn't feel up to parr with walking down to the church, so I'd find myself in there lonely and alone, looking for her to walk in.......... And now today she never will again.
The Death, my grandmother died 4 times... She was flown to Little Rock from West Helena where she was revived mid-flight to ny understanding. She lived for about two weeks after being flown to Little Rock. She was placed on life support, I think about half way through that time period she was taken off of life support and she GOT BETTER!!!!! At her request, she wanted to see all of her family. So one night, the family went to see her, and gave her kisses and hugs, she saw all of the kids. Her daughters, her son, her legacy... That night, after everybody left, my grandmother passed away in her sleep. She left me.... You all my bestfriend left me. Now, I don't step foot in churches... I can't. ESPECIALLY not the Church I grew up in. It's soo hard for me to mentally deal with it, I can't do it. I prayed and told God that if I had punishment for that, then I can take it. But I feel like I can't use that as an excuse, so with prayer and medication, maybe I'll get back into the whole church thing.
Why I didn't go.... I did not go see my grandmother when she was sick. I regret this terrible mistake everyday of my life because I will never see her beautiful face again. I'll never touch her joyful living skin. I'll never hear her voice. If I could have just ONE LAST CHANCE to hug her, I'd give ANYTHING for it. In a strange way, I feel like I let her down. It hurts, I know deep down she missed me, I know she wanted to see me. I know she was waiting for me, and I never came......(Here comes the Tears). But I just hope and pray she understand and I hope she forgives me. But ny Granny was the glue to my family, we were closer, happier, loved each other more back then. The times I shared with my granny during Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and 4th of July, and Easter I will NEVER FORGET. EVEN the Arguments, the moments I spent in her presence will last in my mind and memory forever. And As I type, I know she's watching, and I want her to know that I miss her soooooooooo so very much, and I love her with every ounce of me. If a express bus opens up to heaven she needs to buy me a ticket!!!! This is my tribute to Mary Alice Fonzye 1940-2011! I will always Love You... *Tears
My Beautiful Bestfriend, She was not a Day over 21 and didn't Look like it either!!! She was one of the most AMAZING Women I've ever met in my entire life. Left me far too soon. I feel so lonely without her...
The final Resting place of one of the most amazing women I've ever met in my life..... I miss her so much you all, it's been 5 years now but it feels like it was just yesterday. Sometimes I still can't believe she actually left me... Sometimes I just wish it was a dream that I'd wake up from. It sucks, it really does..
She even went out in style, she may not be here, but she's still beautiful. I miss my granny. Looking at her now compared to how she looked back then, She's CHANGED!!! Lol She got fatter! I'ma have to put her on the Treadmill, walking Stick n all! We going to the GYM!!! (She didn't mind walking, but it wasn't her favorite activity.) Then when we get back from the gym she going to make my Favorite Lemonade she used to make just for me!!! God I miss her people. You all just don't understand man. I miss her soo much. ︶︿︶
Thank You for taking the time to read my emotional tribute, and venting/grieving session. I'll see you all again on the next update! Have a better day than me Ladies and Gentleman!!!
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